


Map (To You)

by IAmNotGoodatthisnamingthing



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Friendship, If You Squint - Freeform, Out of Character, Platonic Romance, chenxing, maybe au but who knows, well sort of, xingdae - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-07-18 22:14:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7332781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmNotGoodatthisnamingthing/pseuds/IAmNotGoodatthisnamingthing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jongdae has a plan. To get close to Yixing. He really does. (Not really. He has no idea what he's doing, except for the fact that he needs to make up to his once-best friend, and really isn't that a plan in itself?) Or where, Jongdae has no idea why this keeps happening to him, Yixing has a lot of questions (and questionable taste in friends), and things sometimes do work out in the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Map (To You)

**Author's Note:**

> This is the sequel to [Long and Lost](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7286254). My summary writing has not gotten any better yet, and yet here you are, so you might as well read through this piece :p
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

_Fix it_ , Joonmyeon’s threat makes yet another figure 8 around Jongdae’s head, and he groans.

Because. He. Doesn’t. Know. How.

How do you make up with a friend who once used to be your role model almost, Jongdae gripes. ~~( _The quick search he did on the internet proved to be absolutely useless._ )~~

Like sure, the patching up would be easy, especially given it’s Xing Xing _ge_ he’s trying to make up to, and that boy requires just about one open smile to consider you a friend; but the questions he’d eventually have to answer – _no pressure_ – makes Jongdae balk.

Because, how is he to answer why he distanced himself from Lay? What right did he have to go around feeling hurt when the older male decided to confide in someone else? How is he to explain why he turned a blind eye to Yixing’s attempts at reconciliation? Or his need for space?

_How indeed is Jongdae to say all that to Lay when he can’t even justify it to himself?_

So he waits…  
…and wonders in the dead of the night, while Lay tinkers on his laptop. He faces his bedside wall, hoping for inspiration, almost jumping up when Lay breaks the silence with a soft growl. Jongdae has to stop himself from physically reacting when he hears Lay softly close his laptop – from where he’d sat composing – and start to sniffle. He doesn’t dare move one lousy inch as Lay softly pads out of the room and presumably make his way to the balcony, because _where else are emotionally pent up idols supposed to cry if not on the balcony out on a rainy night_?

Jongdae waits, counting in his head to 100 before he too gets up and sneaks out.

He sees not one but two silhouettes out on the balcony – Lay and Chanyeol, easily identified by his towering height – and instead of disturbing their dialogue, Jongdae shuffles to the kitchen and busies himself making a cup of tea in the dark. He chooses chamomile over green, knowing that it would help Lay sleep better, and leans against the counter watching as the electric kettle softly bubbles to life.

He listens soundlessly as the two males make their way inside, and Chanyeol orders Lay to go and sleep. Lay only laughs out a thanks, promising to go straight to bed after washing up, and Chanyeol bids him goodbye, making his way to his personal studio. (The M dorm had a lot of extra rooms, and no one was opposed to repurposing them for other uses; even if Chanyeol’s studio had once been duizhang’s bedroom, or the converted dance room once used to be the scene of Lay and Luhan’s nightly tea parties).

Immersed in nostalgia, Jongdae pours the steeped tea in Lay’s cup and trudges back to their room. He manages to place the cup on the bedside table and get under his sheets before Lay makes his way back.

He listens motionlessly as Lay breathes out a chuckle upon encountering the tea cup.

His happiness however disappears into irritation when Lay mumbles to himself that he must thank Chanyeol next morning.

_If Chanyeol gets hit on his shin during choreography practice the next morning, it would definitely be an accident. Jongdae would never premeditate that._

* * *

It’s been 3 days and Jongdae’s made no progress.

_Not for lack of trying though…_

His second attempt at playing guardian angel has Lay thanking a flabbergasted Xiumin with hugs and multiple butt pats of love for the (unburnt and hopefully edible) porridge Jongdae had woken up at 5 am to make.

Never mind that he’s probably the only leftover member of the band who knows that the Chinese male likes his porridge with a slivers of roasted nuts and the slightest hint of honey.  
Never mind that he had been the one Lay had once made the porridge for back when they had just debuted as EXO-M and Jongdae had been extremely homesick.  
Never mind that Jongdae had accidentally burnt a finger while plating the food (trying to leave it sneakily on the kitchen counter when Lay had been using the washroom).

_So sue him._ If Xiumin hyung’s air conditioning started to leak for no apparent reason the next morning, Jongdae would absolutely have no hand in arranging that.

* * *

His third attempt has an observing Joonmyeon bashing his own head softly against the refrigerator door.

When Lay asks their leader what’s wrong, a pinched-faced Joonmyeon only mutters under his breath before walking away, massaging his reddening forehead. (Jongdae can’t blame him, he also has no idea how all his attempts keep on backfiring.)

After the sixth failed attempt, Kyungsoo corners him.

He grabs Jongdae by the collar of his shirt and puts the fear of God in him.  
Their comeback is in less than 20 hours, and while Jongdae has indeed been trying to be more civil to his estranged hyung – by passing the salt at dinner, by fetching him towels and water bottles after practice, by not walking away whenever Lay approaches in his direction – he has yet to speak one casual word to Lay or meet his eyes (which apparently is unacceptable in Kyungsoo’s eyes).

_Doesn’t mean Jongdae doesn’t feel the elder’s confusion, though..._

He catches Lay frowning when Jongdae wordlessly slams a cup of tea on his worktable and walks away; he feels the heat of his stare when Jongdae ad-libs to the melody Yixing is trying to construct; he feels the weight of a thousand unanswered questions settling between their beds when they lay down for the night, and Jongdae digs into their bedside table for the Chinese snacks Lay had presumably brought over for himself.

But he still isn’t ready, so he opts for silence. _The calm before the storm._

* * *

The morning of their comeback everyone is jittery.

Pregame nerves, is all.

Nobody talks much, and breakfast is a quiet affair. They rush through a final practice session, and are in the process of getting their costumes on when Jongdae unceremoniously barges into his and Lay’s shared room for the flask of hot water he’d left on his bed.

He however immediately freezes upon encountering Lay.  
Who is ashen-faced.  
And in the process of taping his waist.

Lay freezes too, eyes widened to almost the size of Kyungsoo’s.

“How long?”, Jongdae hears himself ask his hyung in a voice so restrained he almost doesn’t recognize it coming out of his mouth.

“It’s nothi-”, Lay tries to downplay his injury, but Jongdae’s eyes are fixed on his hunched shoulders. “Hyung, how long?”, he repeats.

“Just a couple of weeks”, Lay shrugs, going back to his taping, intent on avoiding Jongdae’s eyes. “I’m on the mend already.”

“Does the company know?”  
Lay’s silence is telling. Of course they know, that’s why he’d gone straight to the company upon flying into the country. That’s why he had been chugging energy drinks like water for the past couple of days. That’s what the rattle from Lay’s backpack was from – pain medications.

“Don’t tell anyone. Please”, Lay requests finally, fixing his undershirt to cover the makeshift brace.

It’s the first time they initiate eye contact, and Jongdae feels conflicted.

On one hand, he doesn’t want to deny Lay, especially when he’s aiming for a reconciliation; but on the other hand, their team deserves to know, especially about an injury as concerning the recurring flaring up of the dancer’s back.

_What is he to do?_

“I won’t tell anyone”, Jongdae promises after a beat. “Yet.”

“Thanks”, Lay smiles in relief. Because of course he does. Because who in their right mind would want the support of his friends? Not Lay, of course. ~~What was his personal health worth in the light of EXO’s success, after all?~~

“Thank me by not aggravating your injury”, Jongdae supplies brusquely, retrieving his flask. He’s promised to not snitch, but he’d be damned if he wouldn’t spend the next two weeks side-eyeing Lay’s choreography.

_And if Lay finds a carton of heat packs sitting on his bed later that night, Jongdae would really appreciate if he made use of them._

* * *

They settle into a routine after that definitive moment.

Jongdae walks right ahead or beside Lay when they’re making their way onto stages, and Lay puts up a brave – yet exhausted – face in front of their many adoring fans.  
Jongdae is quick to hug him from behind or hold him steady whenever Lay sways lightly on the spot or looks like he needs a moment of respite, and somehow Jongdae manages to find himself in the middle of a competition with Baekhyun and Chanyeol where they trying to outdo one another by initiating skinship with Lay in front of the cameras. Lay doesn’t mind. _Personal space didn’t exist in his dictionary, remember_? And Jongdae laughs more easily.

(Joonmyeon seems satisfied with this, and Jongin stops giving him his sad-puppy looks which always made Jongdae feel lower than the scum of the earth)

They don’t talk much yet – _layandchen, jongdaeandxingxingge_ –except for exchanging pleasantries and a few words here now and then; they are trying, but they are also totally ignoring the gargantuan elephant in the room, and that causes a bit of tension. Jongdae feels an uncomfortable coil of emotions tightening around his aching chest like a preying serpent. But he holds his tongue.

Lay doesn’t.

~~He’s far too straightforward sometimes.~~

He broaches it one night when they’re lying awake on their respective beds, shrouded by the pitch black darkness.

“Are you awake?”

Jongdae hums affirmatively, rolling on his side to face the elder. “Are you in pain?”

“Not really”, Yixing informs him in a soft whisper, already propped up on his elbow. He’s quiet for a couple of minutes, but Jongdae can almost feel him arranging his words in his head, and he’s so not ready for this yet, so he takes the lead this time.

“Xing Xing ge,”, Jongdae addresses him gently. “Don’t ask me things I don’t know how to answer yet.”

“You haven’t called me that in a while”, the elder chokes out after a pause, sounding nostalgic. “I’ve missed that”.

_And I’ve missed you_ , Jongdae thinks. _Terribly_. He doesn’t verbalize that though.

“I’m sorry. For behaving in such a childish way”, he confesses aloud to the back of his tightly closed eyes. “You didn’t deserve it, not from me”

Another pause ensues, and with each passing minute Jongdae can feel his oddly vulnerable heart splintering, until it doesn’t. Because Lay speaks up, his voice struggling to hold firm. “I’m sorry too. For drifting away. For not trying to mend things between us sooner.”

Jongdae shakes his head in defiance, even though he knows Lay can’t quite see him.

He wants to say Lay has nothing to be sorry about, and that Jongdae was just being selfish, and that they should probably go to sleep as their alarm is set to go off in 3 hours, but he doesn’t. He can’t. He feels choked up and fragile, and the only comfort he has is that Lay’s breathing sounds just as uneven as his from across the room.

“Ge?”, he says, when he’s calmed down somewhat. “I’ve been wanting to say this for a while…”

“Yes, _Chen_?”, the fondness in Lay’s voice is unmistakable. He knows Jongdae’s tics. He knows that Jongdae’s about to say something to diffuse the heavy moment.

He doesn’t disappoint…

“ _You really are a pabo_!”, Jongdae bursts out, feeling lighter than he has in days, maybe even months.

There’s a beat of silence before Lay bursts out laughing, far too boisterously for the dead of the night.  
And Jongdae can’t help but join in with his own howls of jubilance. They continue laughing, harmoniously, and happily, which is only brought to rest once Kyungsoo – who had decided to spend the night in the M dorm on account of Chanyeol, Sehun and Baekhyun’s late night shoutings – bursts into their room and threatens them to shut up or so help him God.

They quiet down immediately, because despite being close friends with Kyungsoo, they are well aware that the murderous glint in his eyes shouldn’t be ignored, especially at this ungodly hour. ( _Such a cute person shouldn’t be so scary_ , Lay had once proclaimed long ago, pinching a glaring Soo’s cheek….yet another reason Jongdae feels justified calling him an idiot.)

After Soo stalks away, Jongdae bids Lay goodnight, turns on his back, and hugs a plushie on his bed, hoping for sleep to come to him quickly. And just before he succumbs to dream land, he feels his bed dip under the weight of Lay’s body.

Lay comes to him and wraps a hand around his shoulder, and leaves a fleeting kiss on the apple of his cheek before hooking a leg around one of Jongdae’s, and falling asleep.

_Jongdae shouldn’t feel as happy as he does, he thinks. But he can’t help it…_

* * *

It’s almost lunchtime when they’re done with their schedule for the day. Jongdae’s stomach is growling, but that’s not the reason he seeks out their manager so frantically.

You see, **he has a plan**. Yes, you heard that. Kim Jongdae, man of cheekbones and high lilting voice, has a plan. And it’s almost fullproof.

_Almost_.

Having acquired what he needs from the manager hyung, Jongdae goes off in search of his target.

“Lay hyung!”, he shouts, waving at the elder, who’s surrounded by Joonmyeon, Baekhyun and Sehun. Lay greets him with an easy smile and summons him over where the foursome is standing in the relatively abandoned corner of the backstage.

“Hi guys! What are you up to?”, he asks, bounding up to them.

“Just discussing our performance.”, Joonmyeon answers. “Why do you look so happy?”

“We won! Why wouldn’t I be happy?”, Jongdae asks innocently.

“Uh huh”, Joonmyeon narrows his eyes suspiciously, but it’s Baekhyun who speaks out. “A happy look on your face spells trouble, Dae. What are you planning? And does it involve antagonizing Soo?”

“Aish! Kids these days, can’t even accept the goodness of people’s intentions”, Jongdae shakes his head dramatically, winking at Sehun. “You believe me, don’t you maknae?”

“Never”, the giraffe-like youngster answers primly, sticking out his tongue before waving them off and going over to where Chanyeol is messing with his phone.

“Anyway, I was wondering…”, Jongdae returns to his plan when the ensuing laughter dies down. _The plan_. “Lay hyung, what are you planning to do for the next two hours?”

Lay opens his mouth to answer, but Beakhyun once again usurps the conversation. “Hyung is going to have a quick lunch at the dorm and then go gymming with Chanyeol and me.”

“Am I?”, Lay asks amusedly. Jongdae takes it to mean that Lay has no concrete plans or schedules.

“Yes”, Beakhyun replies the same time as Jongdae says “No”.

“Yes, he is”, Baekhyun whines.

“Nope”, Jongdae is resolute. “Hyung already went gymming with you two yesterday. He doesn’t need to go today.”

Baekhyun’s ‘ _but we always have ice cream afterwards!_ ’ is drowned out by Lay’s ‘ _then what do you say I’ll be doing?_ ’

“You’ll be having lunch with me, of course!”, Jongdae beams at him.

“But I asked him first”, Baekhyun persists.  
“You already hung out with him yesterday. Let me have my day today!”, Jongdae pouts. “Hang out with me, _ge_. Please?”

“Hyung! Hyung! Hyung! Hyung!”, Baekhyun whines, wrapping his arms around Lay’s shoulders.

“ _Ge_! Xing Xing _ge_! Please?”, Jongdae retaliates, standing right in front of Lay and giving him puppydog eyes (like Jongin). Jongdae smirks internally, knowing full well that Lay will succumb. There’s no way he’ll be able to ignore his pitiful calls of _Xing Xing ge_.

Lay looks conflicted. He doesn’t like disagreements, after all. Especially when it involves his favorite people. And Baekhyun and Jongdae are definitely close to his heart. ~~Jongdae would almost feel sorry for him if he wasn’t on a mission.~~

“Baek”, Lay sighs finally, patting his head (and Jongdae barely restrains a celebratory whoop of joy). “Can I get a rain check? I’ll get you ice cream when we return to the dorm. What do you say?”

Baekhyun only whimpers sorrowfully, nuzzling against Lay, and a laughing Joonmyeon takes the opportunity to pry Baekhyun off and take him away (but not before morphing into Junma for a moment to remind Jongdae and Yixing to return before dark, and to please try and not catch a cold).

As he’s being dragged away, Baekhyun turns around with a mischievous glint in his eyes and Jongdae knows he’s gonna regret whatever’s about to come out of that belligerent brat’s mouth.

“Have fun at your date!”, Baekhyun shouts in goodbye before running away, cackling.

Ignoring the heat that’s creeping up his neck – because Byun Baekhyun is a troublemaker with a capital T and everyone in the vicinity is now staring at them weird – Jongdae turns to look at Lay.

“So what are we eating?”, Lay asks him casually, draping a hand across his shoulder.

“You’ll see”, Jongdae says mysteriously, leading them to the car their manager had kindly provided to them for the day.

“Then can I ask where we’ll be going?”

“I’m not saying”, Jongdae singsongs, earning a teasing elbow jab to his ribcage. “Do you trust me, _ge_?”

“Of course”, Lay answers immediately. Surely.

“Then believe me when I say you’re going to have a really good time today.”

“Well, as long as you don’t involve me in some shady crime, I’m on board”, Lay retorts sarcastically, and Jongdae scoffs, but doesn’t disagree; after all, he’d played an integral role into luring Lay (and Luhan) to get an ear piercing all that time ago.

“You should stop hanging out so much with Baekhyun”, Jongdae sagely advices instead. “His tendency of wanting to have the last word is really rubbing off on you”.

Lay snorts, rolling his eyes expertly, almost familiarly, and Jongdae adds, “Sehun too.”

* * *

They spend over an hour sharing hot pot in an offbeat restaurant Jongdae had discovered in Myeongdong, after which Jongdae drags Lay to Hangang Park for spicy rice cakes, like the ones they often wolfed down during their trainee days. By some miracle, they’re not spotted at either spot, so Jongdae takes the initiative to engage Lay in a one-on-one game of basketball.

(In hindsight, he probably shouldn’t have. Lay is really good at the game, and Jongdae is a sore loser).

By the time they return to the dorms, both boys are thoroughly exhausted, but happy. Talking about nothing and everything for hours with an old friend tends to have that effect, you know?

And they had talked and talked and talked (in between bouts of buying food not only for Baek, but also Jongin, because apparently Jongin had not had chicken in 2 days, and Yixing feared for his wellbeing). They had talked through a lot of their issues – but not all, _not yet_ , Jongdae knew – and their hearts felt lighter, and their smiles a lot brighter.

Lay falls asleep first, that night, and Jongdae follows him soon after, cuddling a teddy bear to his chest, thinking about the wonderful, sun-kissed day they spent together.

_So what if they’d had a non-fight? They resolved their way back eventually, somewhat excruciatingly, and Jongdae promises never to let his Xing Xing ge drift away again._

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

**BONUS SCENE** (well, sort of):

 

“So you and hyung seemed pretty cozy yesterday”, a voice perks up right beside Jongdae’s ear. He’s in the middle of lifting weights, so he waits till he’s completed the set before turning to face Chanyeol. Jongdae doesn't even need to ask who Chanyeol is talking about because he'd spent the last day clinging like an overly affectionate cat to Yixing. (What is he to do when the Chinese male disappears for days between concerts on account of his other schedules?)

“What do you want?”, Jongdae cuts right to the chase. They’re in the middle of their touring cycle and he still has 7 more reps to go through, before moving on t the treadmill.

“What makes you think I want something?”, Chanyeol asks, avoiding his eyes. Really, this boy sometimes is too damn transparent.

“You suck at lying, so don’t even try”, Jongdae rolls his eyes, fetching his water bottle. “And I’ll rephrase. What has Baekhyun put you up to?”

Chanyeol splutters but Jongdae’s poker face makes him groan before flinging himself down on the floor. “Fine! Fine! You can’t say I didn’t try”, he whines, face heating up. “Baek wants to know if you’ve had the talk with Yixing hyung.”

“What talk?”, Jongdae asks, foreboding settling into the pit of his stomach. Baekhyun wondering was never a good thing.

“You know…about you, and Yixing hyung…and feelings…and uh, unresolved things…and everything”, Chanyeol’s face scrunches up, like every word coming out of his mouth tortures him physically.

“What?!”, Jongdae parrots back, unable to come up with anything more articulate.

“Please don’t make me say it”, Chanyeol begs. “Hyung is oblivious, I unfortunately am not.”

“Chanyeol, I don’t know what you’re talking about”, a suddenly white-faced Jongdae replies, because surely he can’t be implying that _he knows_ … ~~that _they all know_ …~~

Chanyeol stares at him for a good minute, watching the wild flickering of his eyes with far more somberness that Jongdae had thought the happy giant capable of. “You’re right”, he replies softly. “I’m sorry.”

With that, he lopes up and makes to leave, but Jongdae calls him back.  
_Slowly.  
Hesitatingly._

“I- I don’t know how to”, he confesses. How indeed do you tell your once-best friend that you became pettily jealous when he bonded with friends, and sharing is that last thing you want to do, because your feelings are confusing, and _he_ is realy confusing, and staying at an arm’s length away was both a torture and relief, and apparently Jongdae has not been as subtle as he thought he had? “I don’t know what to do…”

“We’re all here for you”, Chanyeol replies kindly. With far too much understanding. “And hyung is…..he’ll understand. Promise.”

_If Jongdae doesn’t snap Chanyeol’s neck the next day when he starts touching his butt in public again, it’s only because Jongdae is tired. That’s all._

_(The fact that Lay takes it as a personal challenge from Chanyeol, and attempts to outdo Yeollie by butt-patting Jongdae is both hilarious and mortifying._

_Mortifying to Jongdae, for more reasons than one._

_And hilarious for the rest of his traitorous bandmates who keep on keeling over from laughter._

_Ungrateful twerps, the whole lot of them, Jongdae murmurs, running away with his hands covering his ass, and seeking refuge behind a thoroughly entertained Soo)._

* * *

_Fin._

**Author's Note:**

> I struggled a bit in a few places, and it probably shows, so sorry .-.
> 
> But thank you for reading anyway, and I'd really appreciate it if you left me some feedback.  
> Thanks! :D


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